Overseers to be the Husband of One Wife

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Paidion
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Overseers to be the Husband of One Wife

Post by Paidion » Mon Mar 21, 2016 6:06 pm

1 The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task.
2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,
3 not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.
4 He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive,
5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? (1 Tim 3 ESV)

What does Paul mean that "an overseer must be ... the husband of one wife"?
I have heard some claim that it was required for an overseer to be married. I don't see it that way. The words I left out and replaced with three dots are "above reproach" and I think that little phrase clues us in to the meaning. Surely and overseer who is unmarried could be above reproach. But if he were married to several women, that may be a cause for reproach. So my view is that Paul was indicating that an overseer must be the husband of ONLY one wife, but not forbidding him to be single.

Do you see it that way also? Or do you think that Paul is indicating that he must be married, since verses 5 and 6 speak of his managing his household well and keeping his children submissive.
Paidion

Man judges a person by his past deeds, and administers penalties for his wrongdoing. God judges a person by his present character, and disciplines him that he may become righteous.

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steve
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Re: Overseers to be the Husband of One Wife

Post by steve » Mon Mar 21, 2016 11:25 pm

I doubt if Paul was legalistic or inflexible on this point. However, I do think it probable that being married was much to be preferred in an overseer, since, as Paul said, the leading of a family is the testing ground for one's ability to lead a church.

Jesus, Paul, Barnabas, and (probably) Luke, Timothy and Titus were single men, but none of them (other than Jesus, who obviously is in a class by Himself) were married. At the same time, none of them, to our knowledge, were permanent, resident overseers of local churches. Their roles would better be described as "apostolic", rather than "pastoral"—though the latter would definitely be an ingredient in their ministry responsibility cocktail.

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Homer
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Re: Overseers to be the Husband of One Wife

Post by Homer » Tue Mar 22, 2016 9:21 am

Paidion,

As I began to read your post I had in mind what I would say and then found that you said it almost exactly as I would.

As you know, there was no punctuation in the Greek and for some time I have believed the translation should be with a colon rather than a comma:
Therefore an overseer must be above reproach:
I.e. the overriding principle is the elder must be above reproach and what follows is descriptive of that status.

As you may recall I was a member and elder of a congregation for many years and left over this issue. The other elders decided a man who had three divorces and was married to his forth wife for four years was qualified to be an elder. Their argument was that all was forgiven in Christ and that "husband of one wife" meant one at a time, their understanding of the Greek "one woman man".

I do not say a divorced man can never become and elder. In that same church there was an elder who had been divorced something like 30 years in the past. Both he and his present wife had divorced adulterous spouses, had together raised her children and had a decades long and faithful marriage. I can not say in his case that he wasn't above reproach. On the other hand what credibility would a thrice divorced man have in counseling a young couple regarding their marriage?

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Paidion
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Re: Overseers to be the Husband of One Wife

Post by Paidion » Tue Mar 22, 2016 1:16 pm

Thank you for your answers to my question, Steve and Homer.

Steve, if I understand you correctly, you think that Paul was saying that it would be better for an overseer to be married, but that he didn't regard this as a rigid rule. If this is not your position, please explain.

Homer, are you saying that you left the congregation (or maybe just the eldership) because the other elders were prepared to hire a man who had divorced and remarried three times though he had lived with his fourth wife for 4 years?

My thinking is that polygamy was rather common in the days in which Paul lived, and that he was saying that an overseer ought to be monogamous.

However, I do see your point about an elder who had divorced and remarried several times not being qualified to offer marriage counsel to a young couple. Yet, I wonder if that would be the case if the elder was not "at fault" concerning any of the divorces. If the matter were investigated, and you were convinced that the elder's divorces all resulted from the actions of his former wives, would you accept the man as an elder?
Paidion

Man judges a person by his past deeds, and administers penalties for his wrongdoing. God judges a person by his present character, and disciplines him that he may become righteous.

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Homer
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Re: Overseers to be the Husband of One Wife

Post by Homer » Tue Mar 22, 2016 4:25 pm

Paidion,

You wrote:
My thinking is that polygamy was rather common in the days in which Paul lived, and that he was saying that an overseer ought to be monogamous.
My understanding was that it was rare to non-existent in the Roman world; could be wrong though. Here is a pretty good article that sums up what I had found in other places:

http://christianthinktank.com/polygame.html

Also here in Wikipedia:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_in_ancient_Rome

I don't think Paul had many, if any, polygamous converts.

I will get back on your questions when I have more time.

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steve
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Re: Overseers to be the Husband of One Wife

Post by steve » Tue Mar 22, 2016 5:28 pm

Steve, if I understand you correctly, you think that Paul was saying that it would be better for an overseer to be married, but that he didn't regard this as a rigid rule. If this is not your position, please explain.
Yes. I tend to want to do things "by the book" and would prefer to only have married elders, who head up orderly families, and who provide a good example, in this respect, of normative Christian family life. This is, in fact, my reason for disqualifying myself for eldership for the last 15 years. Though my present marriage is an excellent example, it seems to me, yet both my wife and I have unbelieving children. Also, the fact that this is not my first marriage would make my situation controversial—despite my innocence with regard to past marital failure.

But, having said this, I am not sure that Paul would not make an exception for a widower, or a eunuch in the church, if they were otherwise qualified. No one needs to agree with my instincts about this.

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Paidion
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Re: Overseers to be the Husband of One Wife

Post by Paidion » Tue Mar 22, 2016 5:54 pm

Thanks again, Steve, for sharing your thoughts on the matter.

Thanks also, Homer, for the links you provided. I hadn't realized that most ordinary folks among the Greeks and Romans, were monogamous.
As for the Glen Miller article, the reasoning is rather common, although I am not sure that he understands Christ's teachings accurately. It doesn't seem that Christ is talking about divorce, and remarriage as adultery with the second wife, but rather if one dismisses or sends away his wife and takes up with another woman, he commits adultery. But there are plenty who think as Glen Miller does. I have never divorced (thank God!") but after my first wife died, I married a divorced woman, and some of the local people here believe I am living in adultery.
Paidion

Man judges a person by his past deeds, and administers penalties for his wrongdoing. God judges a person by his present character, and disciplines him that he may become righteous.

Avatar shows me at 75 years old. I am now 83.

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Homer
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Re: Overseers to be the Husband of One Wife

Post by Homer » Tue Mar 22, 2016 9:15 pm

Paidion,

I didn't mean to imply I agreed with Miller on the remarriage issue. I was only interested in what he had found regarding polygamy in the ANE, which is what I found elsewhere and what seemed to be a good summary. I didn't read the rest of his article.

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