This is a question that I believe was asked of Steve. A little over a week ago I was listening on my way to bible study and a caller asked about Matt. 19:9. At the time the program was almost over and you stated that there was not enough time to properly answer the question. You asked if he would call back the next night. I listened for the response but did not hear it. You may have covered this before but I see that there are no entries for this topic. It is a difficult topic to be sure and one that many would not wish to confront. It seems that you and your other host, I'm sorry I do not remember his name, have a good knowledge of the scriptures. In the few times I have heard your program it also seems that you have a desire to know and understand the truth.
I would be interested in learning your views on this subject.
By the way, I am one of the listners of your Portland station. I hope there are more of us out there and I'm sure there is.
Any comments from you or your respondents would be appreciated.
marriage & divorce
-
_Anonymous
- Posts: 0
- Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2008 10:03 pm
marriage & divorce
Last edited by Guest on Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm, edited 0 times in total.
Reason:
Reason:
Matthew 19:9 reads: “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”
I understand Jesus to be saying the following: Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman, sanctioned by and made in the presence of God, which brings them into a divinely-decreed, almost indissoluble state of being a new entity in God’s sight—“one flesh” “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh...”(Matt.19:6).
Christ forbids anyone to break up this bond against God’s solemn decree. "...Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matt.19:6). While that bond is intact, it is a grievous sin to divorce and remarry, because the second marriage, in such a case, is not a legitimate marriage, but adultery, in that it violates the existing previous marriage.
Jesus says that this is the case whenever someone divorces and remarries—“except for sexual immorality,” which appears to mean that, if one spouse has sexually violated the marriage covenant (e.g., by committing either adultery or some other unlawful sexual acts), divorce and remarriage on the part of the innocent spouse would not be adultery, as otherwise would be the case.
Even “sexual immorality” on the part of a spouse can be forgiven, however, and I do not think that Jesus’ position is that a spouse, whose partner has fallen into sin, and has repented, is right to seek a divorce. Even where there is no repentance, there ought to be long forbearance. God endured His wife Israel’s long career of unrepentant adultery (cf. Ezek.16 and 23) before He finally announced her incurable, and gave her a writing of divorce (Isa.50:1/Jer.3:8). We should not be looking for excuses to abandon our covenant commitments, so as to jump at the chance to divorce our spouses at the first discovery of some violation.
On the other hand, where adultery has become a pattern in a partner, and the innocent spouse has shown great forbearance while there has been no convincing evidence of repentance, the betrayed spouse, if he or she seeks a divorce, is doing nothing more than what God did in similar circumstances. There should never be anything resembling glee in the decision to exercise this option, however, knowing that all divorce brings both reproach upon God’s sacred institution, and great grief and hardship on all concerned parties—children, grandparents, the church, mutual friends, etc. If, because of determination to keep one’s vows unconditionally, one would choose to endure an excruciating marriage, by the grace of God, for a lifetime—this would seem to me to be a good testimony to the lost spouse, the children and the world, and to warrant God's commendation as a "good and faithful servant" on that day when nothing but God's commendation will matter to anyone. It was this consideration that led me to stay in a marriage (my first) with an unrepentant adulteress, until she finally left and obtained a groundless divorce.
The instructions of Christ on the matter (according to Paul, in 1 Cor.7:10-15) are for believing couples. Paul acknowledges that in the different circumstance of a mixed-faith marriage, the abandonment of the unbelieving partner leaves the faithful Christian spouse “not under bondage” (1 Cor.7:15). This seems to be saying that, even where no adultery can be documented, if the unbeliever deserts the believer, the latter is as free from the marriage as if there had been provable adultery.
I understand Jesus to be saying the following: Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman, sanctioned by and made in the presence of God, which brings them into a divinely-decreed, almost indissoluble state of being a new entity in God’s sight—“one flesh” “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh...”(Matt.19:6).
Christ forbids anyone to break up this bond against God’s solemn decree. "...Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matt.19:6). While that bond is intact, it is a grievous sin to divorce and remarry, because the second marriage, in such a case, is not a legitimate marriage, but adultery, in that it violates the existing previous marriage.
Jesus says that this is the case whenever someone divorces and remarries—“except for sexual immorality,” which appears to mean that, if one spouse has sexually violated the marriage covenant (e.g., by committing either adultery or some other unlawful sexual acts), divorce and remarriage on the part of the innocent spouse would not be adultery, as otherwise would be the case.
Even “sexual immorality” on the part of a spouse can be forgiven, however, and I do not think that Jesus’ position is that a spouse, whose partner has fallen into sin, and has repented, is right to seek a divorce. Even where there is no repentance, there ought to be long forbearance. God endured His wife Israel’s long career of unrepentant adultery (cf. Ezek.16 and 23) before He finally announced her incurable, and gave her a writing of divorce (Isa.50:1/Jer.3:8). We should not be looking for excuses to abandon our covenant commitments, so as to jump at the chance to divorce our spouses at the first discovery of some violation.
On the other hand, where adultery has become a pattern in a partner, and the innocent spouse has shown great forbearance while there has been no convincing evidence of repentance, the betrayed spouse, if he or she seeks a divorce, is doing nothing more than what God did in similar circumstances. There should never be anything resembling glee in the decision to exercise this option, however, knowing that all divorce brings both reproach upon God’s sacred institution, and great grief and hardship on all concerned parties—children, grandparents, the church, mutual friends, etc. If, because of determination to keep one’s vows unconditionally, one would choose to endure an excruciating marriage, by the grace of God, for a lifetime—this would seem to me to be a good testimony to the lost spouse, the children and the world, and to warrant God's commendation as a "good and faithful servant" on that day when nothing but God's commendation will matter to anyone. It was this consideration that led me to stay in a marriage (my first) with an unrepentant adulteress, until she finally left and obtained a groundless divorce.
The instructions of Christ on the matter (according to Paul, in 1 Cor.7:10-15) are for believing couples. Paul acknowledges that in the different circumstance of a mixed-faith marriage, the abandonment of the unbelieving partner leaves the faithful Christian spouse “not under bondage” (1 Cor.7:15). This seems to be saying that, even where no adultery can be documented, if the unbeliever deserts the believer, the latter is as free from the marriage as if there had been provable adultery.
Last edited by Guest on Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm, edited 0 times in total.
Reason:
Reason:
In Jesus,
Steve
Steve
-
_Anonymous
- Posts: 0
- Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2008 10:03 pm
Marriage/Divorce
Hi Steve,
The last paragraph of your last answer provides me with some ground to ask you the following questions:
Three years and a half ago, I became a Christian. At that time, I had been living together for more than twelve years with the lady who became my wife. At that time, I wanted to "make things right" with the Lord, so I wanted to stop "living in sin" and married her. (Even though she was an unbeliever, and my pastor recommended me not to do it since I was going to be unequally yoked.) After the marriage, a couple of months later, my wife apparently accepted Christ.
However, during the last three years, I have not seen her seeking the Lord too eagerly or bearing too many fruits worthy of repentance. Seven months ago, my wife departed from me (against the Lord's commandment in 1 Cor 7:10), apparently with no direct relation to my beliefs. I do not know with certainty if my wife is a true Christian or not.
Did I sin three years ago getting a mixed-faith marriage? Could I consider my current situation as the unbeliever deserting the believer, and myself as free from the marriage? I am not seeking a divorce, but if she does not come back, could I file for one and get re-married?
Peace and grace from our Lord,
FE
The last paragraph of your last answer provides me with some ground to ask you the following questions:
Three years and a half ago, I became a Christian. At that time, I had been living together for more than twelve years with the lady who became my wife. At that time, I wanted to "make things right" with the Lord, so I wanted to stop "living in sin" and married her. (Even though she was an unbeliever, and my pastor recommended me not to do it since I was going to be unequally yoked.) After the marriage, a couple of months later, my wife apparently accepted Christ.
However, during the last three years, I have not seen her seeking the Lord too eagerly or bearing too many fruits worthy of repentance. Seven months ago, my wife departed from me (against the Lord's commandment in 1 Cor 7:10), apparently with no direct relation to my beliefs. I do not know with certainty if my wife is a true Christian or not.
Did I sin three years ago getting a mixed-faith marriage? Could I consider my current situation as the unbeliever deserting the believer, and myself as free from the marriage? I am not seeking a divorce, but if she does not come back, could I file for one and get re-married?
Peace and grace from our Lord,
FE
Last edited by Guest on Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm, edited 0 times in total.
Reason:
Reason:
Re: marriage & divorce
How to get a divorce when husband and wife are in different states? my wife is in Arizona and I've moved to Virginia because of irreconcilable reasons. How do I get a divorce from her. Do I need to go back to Arizona to get the divorce or I can get it while still in the Virginia? My wife is agreed to give me divorce.
_______________________________
affiliateelite ~ affiliateelite.com ~ adgooroo ~ adgooroo.com
_______________________________
affiliateelite ~ affiliateelite.com ~ adgooroo ~ adgooroo.com