You wrote:
Even if Gehenna happened to be a reference to the judgment of Jerusalem in AD 70, I hardly see how any of your above comments would be justified. I should think that the lake of fire would still be something to be feared. You seem also to object to the idea of God having "one big, happy family." Are you on the same page with God on this? I thought this was God's very ambition.I wonder why Jesus was so serious with his comments. He must have gone crazy! He didn't need to express himself with all of that hyperbole. He shouldn't have been so hard on those Pharisees. Similarly with Paul. Why was he warning us that we could be cut right out after we'd just been grafted in? Since in the end we'll all be one big happy family, there's no need to get so intense about these things. There's no concern for fearing the second death. Lake of fire, nothing. John should have reminded us that we all get back together in the end! What was he thinking anyway? Silly guy. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. Too bad he didn't have the self-help books we have available today.
I am not sure what self-help books might have to do with this discussion, but there seems to be a very important element absent from your reckoning.
Your comments seem to reveal the conviction that, if we all end up in heaven, then there is nothing else to be concerned about. Is it not important to you that God should be glorified in His creatures? If people do not follow Christ in this life, then they are robbing God of His due. If we are as concerned for the glory of God as Jesus and Paul were, we would see a great disaster in the case of persons for whom Christ died squandering the one temporal lifetime that God has given them in which to glorify Him and to be useful and pleasing to Him.
In your view, apparently, these are small matters, so long as everyone gets to heaven eventually, after robbing God of His glory throughout their lifetimes. You speak as if this would be an acceptable "happy ending." I don't think Christ or the apostles shared your value system. They thought it to be essential to serve Christ in this lifetime, and a horrendous tragedy if someone would fail to do so. I agree with them—and this would be so whether all people eventually ended up in heaven or not. At least, in that case, God would ultimately be glorified in those who had denied this to Him throughout their lifetimes. That sounds like some consolation in a bad situation.