You wrote:
"Build" is a neutral word but what is built and the way it is built is not. And site preparation, especially the foundation, is part of the building process. My last paragraph shows what I meant:Homer has made reference to using the word edify "in a negative sense," giving Luke 6:49 as an example of such a usage. But this verse does not actually give the word a negative sense. In Luke 6:49, the building of a house is not regarded as a negative thing, which is why the exact same activity is spoken of positively in the previous verse. Jesus does not criticize the activity of building houses (which He seems to treat as if it is something everyone must do). What He criticizes is the failure to first do adequate site preparation—something that is to be done before the building begins. There is no stigma implied in either man's building a house.
People can build themselves up, in a negative sense, in many ways in the assembly by what they say and do. I can see no way a person builds himself up, in a negative sense, while praying "in the closet". But I do not understand how a person would be built up while speaking words which to his mind convey no meaning. You have said in the past you have no idea what you are praying while praying in "tongues". And why someone with the "gift of tongues" would restrict it to their personal use when Paul says the gifts are for "the common good"?I have never been able to understand how "praying" in a tongue, where the person does not know what he is saying, could build up a person. But I can, if as you seem to suggest, it is in a negative sense. This seems to be what occurs often as seen on TV where a person will appear to speak gibberish with no interpretation or even a pause. Seems like "flashing their credentials".
But then Russel Spitler contends that tongues are like music in that they mean different things to different people. Perhaps the effect is similar to listening to instrumental music. Coul be that I am too rational.
You assume Jude 1:20 is a reference to "praying in tongues". But the prepostion en can be translated as "in" or "by". Jesus said David spoke en the Spirit when he wrote Psalm 110:1 (see Matthew 22:43-44). Paul peached en the Spirit to the Corinthians (1 Cor. 2:2-5). In neither case do we think they spoke in "tongues". I do not think we should be questioning the honesty of those trying to understand these difficult passages. We are all prone to making assumptions.Apart from church gatherings, we should do all that we can to edify (or build up) ourselves spiritually. Jude specifically commands us to build ourselves up—and even identifies "praying in the Holy Spirit" as the means of doing so.
Does Paul pray privately "in tongues"? In 1 Cor. 14:14-15 is Paul saying he will pray with the Spirit and also pray with his mind separately or simultaneously? Perhaps Ephesians 6:18 would indicate the latter. There Paul associates alertness or watchfulness with prayer en the Spirit, and says that is the way we are always to pray. That does not seem like praying in a "tongue" on "autopilot", but with the mind fully engaged.
There are a number of times in the NT where people are said to speak, worship, pray en the Spirit with no connotation of it being in "tongues".