Re: What Would You Say?
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 8:13 pm
This may deserve a separate thread, and is just a thought experiment, but follow me for a minute as I play devil's advocate...
So, it's difficult to detach our modern views of marriage from our understanding of the biblical covenant -- the traditional vows may include such language, but (1) the marriage covenant is established by God and not by the vows; and (2) you've forsaken them in measure even by your "desire" for others haven't you?Suzana wrote: I think there is a difference between an actual physical act of adultery, which is a breach of covenant (to forsake all others & be faithful), and thoughts which are not acted on.
OK, fair enough, but that's because we throw people into prison for violating man's laws -- not God's. If the covenant doesn't include the faithfulness part, then sexual immorality is essentially only a sin against God (and your own body) and not a personal wrong necessarily against the spouse. We owe God a response, but do we necessarily owe the spouse anything for having "wronged them?" God teaches us that He sees the thoughts the same as the actions, so I'm not sure He sees the difference.Suzana wrote:For example, if a person felt murderous rage towards someone & fantasised about killing them, but never acted on this, one could hardly throw this person into prison.
I recognize it's difficult for a woman to relate to some of this, but what if you had a series of intimate lunches with a man and started baring your soul and trusting him for guidance, etc., though you stop short of sexual temptation and repent and move on. By modern standards at least, you have gone elsewhere and forsaken your husband in some respects (though you may not have even sinned against God in that situation). Do you owe your spouse the same degree of confession for this "infidelity of the heart" ?Suzana wrote: As to whether I would confess these thoughts to my husband, I would hope that (if I was married), our relationship would be one of openness, loving & intimate enough to enable mutual support of this kind.
If I was doubtful about the wisdom of this, if perhaps there were difficulties in our relationship, I would seek counsel from someone spiritual & preferably who knew both of us.