A marriage that disagrees on tithing

[AaronBDisney]

Hi guys. I just wanted to throw my situation out there to see if I can get any advice.
I'm the kind of guy that wants to limit the problems in my marriage as much as possible. I'm married to a good Christian woman who loves the Lord and wants to do His will. She's convinced that tithing to the local church is an obligation we have. I have absolutely zero problem doing it, though in my mind, it would be a regular percentage that we give and not the fulfillment of a command from God. I have let her know that I see no such command, but I'll gladly go along with it considering I do want to give to my local church anyhow.

Yet, over the years, we've accumulated some debt. This is not from stupid indulgences. In fact, we drive old cars, have no cable tv (which is fine), rarely even go out to eat, never go on vacation. We've accumulated this debt by having three children, doctor bills, college loans, a 401K loan to get our AC fixed, You know, things of that nature

Though we eventually pay our bills, we are often put on collection lists and things like that. We are not meeting our obligations in the manner that our creditors would like, yet we pay our tithes. Now, those in the church I attend would see this as being faithful to God through the hard times. I don't know but that I see it as being unfaithful to obligations to others in the name of God . I almost think this is UNpleasing to the Lord rather than pleasing to Him. Yet, I don't know how to express that to my wife. I'd love to be in the kind of financial situation where we could give tithes or whatever we give out of what we legitimately have, instead of taking from who we owe to fulfill a perceived obligation..... Yet, I don't want her to go against her conscience toward God.

You who have a marriage where you are in agreement on most things have no clue how fortunate you are. I love my wife with all my heart but I sure wish we saw eye to eye a little more than we do.

I feel like I've done a bit of rambling here, but any thoughts on this would be appreciated. Thanks, guys

[Bud]

Hi Aaron, I'm not married so I probably should leave advice for others. I do agree with you on this tithing issue. I am going to pray that God will guide you and guide your wife to follow your lead as you follow Christ.

God bless you and yours in this situation,

[Paidion]

Aaron, is your wife trying to follow the scripture? Is so, perhaps you could point out that if were God's will that all Christians tithe, surely the command to do so would appear SOMEWHERE in the New Testament. But it doesn't. (Perhaps you have already pointed that out to her).

Paul addresses Christian giving in his first letter to the Corinthians:

Now concerning the collection for the saints: as I directed the churches of Galatia, so you also are to do. On the first day of every week, each of you is to put something aside and store it up, as he may prosper, so that there will be no collecting when I come. (1 Corinthians 16:1,2)

"As he may prosper" seems to be the operative word here. The other side of the coin is that if he does not prosper, he need not give.

The instruction about tithing in Malachi is an injunction under the first covenant, under the Mosaic law. If we were still under the Mosaic law, we would be keeping the Sabbath from sundown Friday until sundown Saturday. We would also be keeping the feasts: the Feast of Pentecost, the Feast of Tabernacles, etc.

Paul wrote to the Romans that under the New Covenant, we are no longer under the laws of the Old Covenant:

Do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law is binding on a person only as long as he lives? Thus a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress. Likewise, my brothers, you also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to him who has been raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God. For while we were living in the flesh, our sinful passions, aroused by the law, were at work in our members to bear fruit for death. But now we are released from the law, having died to that which held us captive, so that we serve not under the old written code but in the new life of the Spirit. (Romans 7:1-6)

If your wife does not believe in keeping these other Old Covenant laws, why pick just the tithing law to observe?

[AaronBDisney]

Thanks for the prayers, Bud. We could use them.
I agree with you completely Paidion. The problem is, she's been convinced of the storehouse tithing argument and I can't seem to show her the other side of the issue. I think she's afraid to be wrong on the issue and would rather not risk it. I used to agree but have come out of that, I just wish she and I were on the same page.

It's common among Christians not to follow Old Covenant ceremonial law. All except for this one. Tithing is a common carryover from the Old Covenant in the eyes of many. I guess there's comfort in numbers. She's a real good Christian woman but she's afraid to critically examine her long held beliefs.