The Narrow Path Ministries

I have held a number of "official" ministry positions over the years at my church. It's a large mega-church with a fairly traditional "structure" and Sunday School, programs, ministries, etc. I've never been called on to teach, but as part of my service, I've "directed" two SS classes, and led musical worship etc. (when "amateur" musical worship was still permitted) in these (sometimes large) classes which often function as small churches within the larger church. We have outside social activities, homegroups, women's and men's small groups, in-reach, etc. as many churches today do, and the director not only "leads" the class hour, but administers these activities, keeps stats for the church, recruits volunteers, promotes church activities, etc. In some ways it's a bit of a "cruise director" role -- though there are "ministry" opportunities where some spiritual discernment is helpful, anyone with administrative skills and a good nature would do a fine job.

Anyway, we have a new minister of Married Life (married 30/40somethings), and though I don't know him well yet, he has asked me to serve as the director of our class for this "church year" (no doubt due to my prior service and suggestions by others). I told him I'd pray about it, talk it over with my wife, etc., though we did have some very light discussion over the telephone in response to his suggestion that we could "rebrand it, give it new energy etc." My response was something along the lines that that was of course man's response to irregular attendance, growth needs, etc. but that wasn't my general approach to these things. He appealed to our "no-doubt shared passion" for the spiritual growth of the class, etc. and we are meeting Friday to have lunch and give him my answer. (to turn it down would be to suggest I don't have such passion?)

I am quite conflicted but only because I hesitate to pass on filling a need for any service. However, it is in fact my passion and hope for spiritual growth that causes me to dislike today's banal church structure and practice. In my heart of hearts, I do not believe it is God's will that the church has been relegated to the modern institutionalized cookie cutter practice even with strong unwavering truth being preached from the pulpit and opportunities for "canned bible studies." So, how could it be God's will for me to support, endorse, and propagate what I see as all but a waste of time and resources? But, then again, this is the reality of today's churches -- so, how can that be an excuse not to serve when asked even if it would be hypocritical and even if I have to do it with a bit of grit in my teeth? To top it off, the gift of administration is probably at the bottom of my spiritual gifts or personal talents, and I would have to brute force it, though I do know how to do that. So, in the end someone else would probably be a better choice and I in my pew quietly taking the opportunities to stir folks to a deeper and less traditional view of the walk.

In any event, I've pretty much made up my mind, though I would appreciate thoughts on this as I am still open to God's direction and wise counsel on whether to accept it and just "do it."

But, mostly, in the event I don't change my mind, how do I explain this to the minister? How do I tell him I belong to a church I love for the relationships, etc. but that I have grown to be on such a different page that I can't perform this task with a good heart? The natural question is "why not leave," but where would I go? and -- yes, there are great programs for my kids. Is my reaction a sign of spiritual maturity? Or spiritual weakness/arrogance? It would be easy to say it's just a bad time for the family to make the commitment, but that's not honest and I'm not sure I know how to communicate in a lunch meeting with someone who doesn't know me all that informs a decision not to "respond to the call."

The reality is that if I had no constraints and could actually make decisions on how and what the teachers taught, had informal praise and worship, decided how and when we would gather, how we used the Sunday time and the homegroup time and could slow down and spend time in the word together and avoid the speedy "church teaching calendar" that in my opinion disrespects God's word (going through Isaiah in some 6 weeks), I'd indeed have a passion to administer and lead such a group.

Any counsel would be appreciated.

I dont have any dramatic counsel for you other than to say that you are not alone.

I am on various committees at my church and teach classes on a regular basis, but I can totally relate to what you are saying. On the one hand, I dont agree with a lot about the way we "do church"(man, I hate that term and it about makes me gag whenever I hear it, but you know what I mean) but that the same time I feel God has called me to be a part of this church and t be involved.

There is sort of an "inner circle" at my church that are more on the fringe of things and are trying to change attitudes, open people up to new ideas, etc and I think this is slowly happening. But I realize this is much more possible with a congregation size where I attend (450-500) as opposed to a megachurch setting.

There are some things I have refused to do- I have been asked to serve as an elder over the past couple of years but I refuse to do so because I can't support 100% what is going on (which elders are essentially asked to do). at any rate, i feel more called to teach, lead prayer ministry and things of that nature.

You might consider when you meet with this person to simply tell him your heart about things, and let him decide whether he still thinks you are a good fit. If so, and you have not kept anything back, then you could serve in the position in a manner that is only answerable to the Lord and not to the church leadership.

TK

Thanks, TK

So, are you saying that after I've expressed myself, I should still serve if he persists?

The main concern I have in the meeting is how to express these things without shocking him or being seen as a mere contrarian who is overly critical.

I've been in similar situtions where one is pressured by one or more members of the church to take on a responsibility that tweaks the conscience. Some leaders in the church I attended for a number of years assumed that because I had knowledge of the Bible that I had the gift of teaching, which I do not. I received a great deal of pressure from one of our pastors to take over his home group, which I did briefly. However, it didn't take long to realize that the home group was nothing more than a mini version of the Sunday service but with more gossip.

When I talked to the pastor, who had become a friend, I explained that I didn't feel led to teach, nor did I possess any particular talent or enthusiasm for it. He sort of gave me the cold shoulder and would occasionally call me (at work, no less!) to express his dissatisfaction with my church attendance. I told him I haven't been attending because I no longer agree with the vision of our church which, to me, was to make it a brand name like Starbucks. They cleared out the bookstore at the front of the church to build a little coffee shop. I don't want to be judgemental but that just seemed bizarre to me. This pastor felt (and still does) that I had backslidden. This all happened a year ago so I've been looking for a fellowship since then. I don't have children so my situation is a little different. But I'd say listen to your conscience and never go against it because a brother is pressuring you. Wish I had more to offer.

darinhouston wrote:I am quite conflicted

I think you answered your own question on how to proceed.

darinhouston wrote:how do I explain this to the minister? How do I tell him I belong to a church I love for the relationships, etc. but that I have grown to be on such a different page that I can't perform this task with a good heart?

I don't think you need to explain anything. Tell him you prayed about it and you don't feel called to led the class. His response could tell you quite abit about him

darinhouston wrote:The reality is that if I had no constraints and could actually make decisions on how and what the teachers taught

This quote struck a cord within me, because I have similar thoughts. Your meaning may not be how I read it, but I struggle with changing the church's agenda. I wonder if my "new" agenda is really any better than theirs. Have I left any room with for the Holy Spirit's agenda?

Good Luck with your choice,
tim

darinhouston wrote:Thanks, TK

So, are you saying that after I've expressed myself, I should still serve if he persists?

The main concern I have in the meeting is how to express these things without shocking him or being seen as a mere contrarian who is overly critical.

what i was trying to say is that if you lay it all out there (nothwithstanding sounding like an overly-critical contrarian) and he still wants you to serve, maybe you would feel better about it.

Of course you could simply do as Murf said and say thanks but no thanks w/o getting into the details, assuming you are convinced that this is what God wants you to do.

TK

Thanks for your encouraging words -- the meeting went well - I prayed mostly for my attitude and not come across as merely critical. He received it very well, and still tried to get me to do it (and asked about my interest and teaching and other things), though he understood particularly when I explained all the reasons why I thought I was the wrong man for the job.