Ethics of international adoption

[Choosethisday]

I am an elder at my church. Over the last year or so we have become more involved with a large, well known, multi million dollar a year "ministry" that promotes and arranges international adoptions. The interest in international adoption, (IA), has seemingly increased interest in missions overall, although most of the interest does seem to be associated with less mature believers. The other elders and myself were pleased to see this because our church was/is not doing well, at least numbers wise. At first I was also in favor of this because intuitively it seemed like an answer to the orphan crises in the world and might have been helping our church even if the maturity wasn't readily apparent. However, as I researched this issue I came to a different conclusion. I now believe that IA as usually practiced is actually detrimental to the cause of orphans. And while I have tried to not be confrontational about my views I now have a number of the members of our church angry at me for not being on board on this issue and even some of the other elders strongly disagree with me. Most of my logic in being opposed to IA is found at the website voiceofthefatherless.org . However, as I was coming to this view I vetted my thoughts with several people I respect including indigenous and non-indigenous missionaries. These all agreed with my premises and logic. Even so, during my many years as a believer I have found that I really need to be careful when I find I am outside the mainstream on an issue because I often was wrong. And the stakes here are important enough that I don't want to be wrong. I have agonized in prayer and have thought a great deal about this I still think my position correct. Even so I am trying to keep a low profile on this issue but my conscience is nagging at me because i really feel this to be an ethics issue and should be fought for. Also, because my wife and I are very interested and want to be active in missions we now find ourselves not able to support our own church's direction on missions. This could even lead us to having to look for another home church so we can be involved in missions again. This, even though so many of the people there feel like family. So my questions are, are there any faults in my premises or logic? And even if there aren't should I just let this go or should I go with my convictions? I would appreciate any feedback, insights, or thoughts.

[darinhouston]

I only took a cursory read of this site, but as an adoptive father I have a few thoughts. I am not a big fan of international adoptions, generally, for some of the reasons the site mentioned. There are, indeed, many in this country in need of families -- the problem often is color or disabilities or the like. And I think many are adopting from countries like Russia and the like so they can have a white baby and not have birth family issues in open adoptions. I think that is wrong, though I wouldn't ascribe those motives to them on an individual basis. Assuming, though, that you have a heart for orphans abroad, and you will either adopt here or there, their argument doesn't work. In such a case, that money will be spent here in the US for the US baby or the foreign baby, and will not in either event be available for orphan care abroad. If they are making a case not for adoption but for foreign aid, then I would add that there are more reasons than costs of raising the children at issue in parenthood -- I place the financial and physical care at 10% value in my own parenting. I believe God wants us to raise them and have daily influences on them to raise them to know him and to train and disciple them. You can't do that if they aren't here with you.

So, they seem to be conflating aid with adoption. They are two separate issues to me. You can, indeed, provide more efficient financial assistance in an indigenous situation, but I suspect in many of these areas you have to consider the mortality rate as well, so aid may not end up in the end being all that productive if you don't get them out of those situations. More important, though, if God is calling me to parent, I should parent and if God also places on my heart the care of indigenous peoples, I should also do that separately. I think it's a mistake to suggest one should support 40 indigenous children INSTEAD OF adopting one and bringing him/her here. It's a false choice.

That said, I would prefer to see more emphasis on supporting foster families in the US and those who can't afford it but want to adopt at risk children removed by, for example, state child protective services. Often, the adoptions and health care are provided by the state. Those are often unwanted children with many challenges right here at home. Perhaps, your church may want to consider a split ministry -- supporting adoptions here and providing financial assistance to orphanages abroad.

I also have heard many stories of how corrupt the foreign adoption systems can be and how much of a system some governments have turned it into for funding governments and political interests – often bribes aplenty and the children are mere pawns in the story – often, when the would-be adoptees get here they are damaged by the system through delay and months or years of neglect like cattle while the organizations stretch out the emotional commitments from the would-be parents after they thought they were promised a particular child.

[Choosethisday]

Thanks for your insights. And I agree on much of what you said. I perhaps should have added that my wife and I support two ministries in different parts of the world that seem to be doing an excellent job advancing the cause of orphans. One of them, India National Inland Mission, is located in the north part of India. They take in orphans from all over that part of India and currently have over 2000 orphans, including orphans that otherwise would be selling their bodies or dead by now. We personally know one of the workers there, he has been in our home, and so we have both reliable and direct knowledge of what this ministry has been doing. They are able to raise these kids from whatever age the take them in to adulthood. At this point these orphans have the choice of being trained in a vocational field or entering the on site Bible college. Almost half of the graduates of this college end up in full time minstry. And they do all of this for as average of about $25 a month per orphan. We also support another ministry in Africa, named African New Life Ministry. We have a very good friend that as an ordained minister himself helped to train the ministers for this ministry so we also have very direct knowledge of how well they work. They do have several orphanages, and several years ago started a couple of vacational programs for woman in the area. In many parts of Africa the men will not or can not support their families, so often the mother has to meet the financial needs. So by helping these women get a marketable vocation we can indirectly help children who might otherwise be orphans. Although the cost per child in the orphanages and the cost of the vocational programs vary by country, the average costs are about $40 to $70 per person. Another ministry my wife and I are thinking about supporting is Cross International. They speacilize in enabling families to afford the additional cost of taking in what would otherwise be orphans from extended family. The average cost of this is only $70 per YEAR.
So what I am saying, in a very long way, is that the numbers quoted on the website jive with our personal experience. So while I would respect and love a person who thought God was calling them to IA, I would have to wonder how closely they were listening to God. We are called to be wise stewards, and I still don't see how the math would allow, except in a few rare situations, another conclusion. BTW, I would agree that we Americans don't for the most part do a good job of managing His resources. But I do think we need to do our best to manage everything He entrusts to us, including financial resources. I agree the money is a small part of the picture, but it is still something we will give an account of someday. Once again, thanks for you feedback.

[jeremiah]

choosethisday,

respectfully,
as i am sure you're well aware, this is a subject that can get emotional pretty quick. and i appreciate the objectivity in your words. but brother i think you may be mistaken on the stewardship bit at the end. yes, the math doesn't add up if we assume the alternative to IA you prefer is God's preference.

if God calls a family to support multiple orphans overseas and provides two thousand dollars expecting them to faithfully give it in support of multiple orphans, which they do. and he also calls another family to adopt a single orphan from overseas and provides seventy five thousand dollars expecting them to faithfully use it for adopting that orphan, which they do. brother, which of these families were more obedient to God? which were the wiser steward of what they were given charge over?

i was in agreement with much of what you said, but i think a better balance could be found on this. If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?

grace and peace,
jeremiah

[Choosethisday]

Yeah, you are right. I guess I am reacting and maybe even overreacting to the immaturity I see going on in at least our church and I suspect many others here in the US. I have seen many of our younger families wanting to internationally adopt with no idea about the issues and unwilling to listen to anyone with a different view. In some ways this has reminded me of the Hollywood celebrities who adopt babies from all over the world. And often, when it is suggested to the believers by others that they at least investigate the many difficulties with their plans they will state something such as "we feel God is calling us to do this." I do believe God does call some people to do things that don't at first seem to make sense so I won't discount the possibility of this happening with international adoption. However, as with the celebrities I am concerned that this is much more often a case of following the latest trend or as in the case with some believers what would appear to be the most spiritual.

[darinhouston]

I think we do have to be cautious not to transfer our calling or conviction to others and to avoid judging them for not being called to our own calling/ministry.

[Paidion]

To me the ethical issue is "Where is the need?" In Canada and the U.S.A. there are thousands of couples who wish to adopt, but cannot find children to adopt. I guess part of the problem is that so many children are aborted before they have a chance to live.

In foreign countries, there are millions of unwanted children who need homes, as well as millions of wanted ones whose parents cannot afford to feed them. These children need homes. I see this need to be paramount. Any argument against adopting these children pales in comparison to the need. God commands us to feed the hungry and care for the orphans. As has been pointed out, the small amounts Americans set aside to "help" these children in their own countries only prolongs the agony. If parents in the rich countries can care for a few of them full time, they are doing a magnificent work!

[Choosethisday]

"only prolongs the agony" Are you sugesting we just allow them to die off? As has been shown, there are many ministries that do a good job of raising these children and do so at very sustainable costs. If there was any realistic way we could even bring a small fraction of these orphans here you might have some validity to your arguement but there simply is not enough resources or interest to do this. And I realize we aren't going to get the majority of Americans or even of Christians to become involved. But we certainly can't just give up. We need to look for the best way to help the most orphans and widows we can. And at least for now that way is not through international adoption. And as to "cannot find children to adopt". As was pointed out by darinhouston there are many children in this country that desperately need a home. But these children are not adopted because they are not infants, or not white, or have disabilities, or some other such reason. And as darinhouston said, "this is wrong".

[brody196]

"only prolongs the agony" Are you sugesting we just allow them to die off? As has been shown, there are many ministries that do a good job of raising these children and do so at very sustainable costs. If there was any realistic way we could even bring a small fraction of these orphans here you might have some validity to your arguement but there simply is not enough resources or interest to do this. And I realize we aren't going to get the majority of Americans or even of Christians to become involved. But we certainly can't just give up. We need to look for the best way to help the most orphans and widows we can. And at least for now that way is not through international adoption. And as to "cannot find children to adopt". As was pointed out by darinhouston there are many children in this country that desperately need a home. But these children are not adopted because they are not infants, or not white, or have disabilities, or some other such reason. And as darinhouston said, "this is wrong".

I take exception with several things that you are suggesting. First, you seem to conclude that there is some sort of racial prejudice involved against non-whites when it comes to choosing a child to adopt and second, you leave out two of the most important reasons people choose to adopt a child from overseas, which I will touch on below. While there may be some folks who do not want to adopt a non-white child for whatever reasons, I think you would be hard pressed to find that this is the case on a national level.

I think the 2 most important reasons that people tend to look overseas for adoption are 1.) the process of adopting a child in the U.S.A is very lengthy and oftentimes painful. My best friends have been trying to adopt a child for years now and keep getting the run around. They are fantastic Christian's who both work and have squeaky clean records, but that doesn't seem to be enough.
And 2.) Although many kids may not get adopted in the U.S.A, at least they will eat and have a roof over their heads. Those children abroad may not get that luxury.

[Choosethisday]

First, if I have offended I regret it, that is not my desire.

As to whether there is racial prejudice involved I would say not necessarily, but in some cases, yes. Racial prejudice is obviously not involved with the age or dissability of a child not being chosen. However, obviously there are bigots in the world and while we would hope that believers are not included in this group I suspect we would be disapointed if we could know all the motives of believers.

As to your other two points let me respond in order. I understand the difficulty of adopting here and agree this can be a problem. But it can also be a problem internationally as well. And while my wife and I have never tried going through the adoption process my understanding is that in situations with hard to place children the process is greatly expedited. However, I still think this issue is subsumed by the main issue as answered in response to your item two that follows.

Whatever other arguments are brought up we still are faced with the hard math of the limit of our resources. And while Gods' resources are not limited He does expect us to make the best use of whatever resources we have stewardship of. So, while we may not be able to put "a roof over (all of the) heads" of every orphan, IA is still a terrible way to use the resources we are entrusted with. A big problem in dealing with the orphan crises is that we seem to want to just give up and do what makes us feel good. I agree, we aren't likely to solve this problem real soon. But if we truly seek Gods' direction and provision I believe we can make a difference. Maybe a big difference. Do we have a right to not do our best?