Keeping you word...Always?

[Guest]

I've run across someone who is a single parent that is having a hard time paying their bills. They don't live in luxury or anything and end up having to charge gas and groceries to make it through the month. In looking into trying to help them, They go to the same church I used to go to (that I already knew) and give like $500 a month to them! This is the major reason I left this church as they guilt people into giving to "God" (which means them) "first" no matter how poor you are. They (the church) are currently trying to pay off a huge building project that is underway and will say anything to get your, or is it "Gods" money. So they teach "give to get". Give us your money and let God worry about you. It's interesting they don't take their own advice.

I haven't talked to her personally yet but second hand. [Realize that she is a very new Christian in a church that doesn't teach their members biblical doctrine. The lead pastor has stated several times that he would rather have many members "an inch deep" than a few members "a mile deep"]
She was already told (by a friend of mine) that not paying their credit card debt and even borrowing from other family members and then giving that money to the church is not exactly what God had in mind. It's like taking money that's not yours and giving it to the church. Her response was: "But I promised the church I would give x amount per week for the building fund".

So I need some help with this before I speak to her. Is this breaking an oath? Or is it nullifying God's commands by keeping the traditions of men. They should not be placing people in bondage like this.

If I were a JW and promised that I would always remain a JW but found out they were a cult, would it be a sin to break my oath and leave the cult?

I'm asking this because I believe in taking oaths seriously. Personally, I wouldn't have a problem if it were me, because my family comes first. I can't starve my children and go bankrupt to "keep my oath". Sounds a little like the principle in Mark 7:9-13. I just don't feel great about telling someone they don't have to keep their oath. But doesn't she have an oath to her children and paying her debts?

[Guest]

Sean,

I think she should approach the leaders of the church, along with an advocate, like yourself, and ask to be released from her promise, which she made ill-advisedly (probably on their ill advice!). This agrees with Proverbs 6:1-5. If they release her, all is well.

If they refuse to release her, then they should be told that she will fulfill the commitment, "as the Lord provides" (since they probably promised the congregation that the Lord would provide for the needs of any who give sacrificially to the church building project). However, her pledge will fall, in priority, below the needs of housing and feeding her family, which God clearly requires her to take care of.

If they do not release her, she (or her advocate, on her behalf) should ask if the church has a benevolence fund for the needy in the church. If they do, ask that this woman can receive from the church monthly payments in the amount of $500 per month during the period that she is fulfilling her commitment.

If they have no benevolence fund, and refuse to assist her, then they should be confronted about the neglect of their duty to care for Christ's sheep, and of your duty to warn the flock that the leaders are wolves or hirelings, not shepherds of the flock.

Do you see how I get into trouble with church leadership?

[Guest]

Thanks Steve,
I had actually thought of going on her behalf, and if they agreed to release her from her commitment, they (or I) could tell her. But I agree that bringing her along is probably the best way.

And thanks for the Proverbs 6, verses.

Do you see how I get into trouble with church leadership?

Do you think quoting 2 Peter 2 would be too harsh? That's what comes to mind. This kind of thing burns me to no end. But, I guess I need to be a peacemaker first.

The leadership at this church knows me. I left on good terms, but the few times I talked to the pastors about my concerns, it was about money. From what I know of the leadership, I believe they would release her.

[Guest]

Wow Steve! Talk about turning the tables but yet remaining Christ-like...What a great answer to a difficult question.