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by __id_2417 » Sat Feb 02, 2008 1:03 pm
Dear Gregg and Eva –
What is the woman asking for? Does she see her situation as messy? If he is in adultery, he may be on the way out the door anyway. If you convince her to merely get rid of him, the work will not be done in her heart.
Are you concerned that she has her life in order before you baptize her? I know we have Baptism classes today, but did John the Baptist? He just dunked them and they had to account to God for their lifestyles. In the Biblical accounts, people were baptized on the spot, and they had sin and odd situations then, just like we do.
What is the Lord telling her? Your relationship with her is more important than that you tell her the right things to do. My first Christian contacts were all important in the untangling of my life. I was into the occult, and some men came and told me I had to burn my books, and when they pointed to some books that belonged to the owner of our house, I knew they were not speaking from the Lord. I felt humiliated and alienated from their fellowship and never went to it after that. Then a woman came by and brought me the scriptures about the occult, and we discussed what it was. It is not just books. She gave me the dignity of showing that she trusted that God would speak to me about what to do. Months later I dealt with the books and I did not look back. Merely obeying another’s standard would not have done the inner work that was essential. Each person has to hear from God himself or herself.
I have many young friends with horrendous marriage situations and I have had to learn that we do not untangle things – the Lord working in her will do it. We can be ready to help when they ask for it, or, when He gives a word that we are sure is from Him. We are so horrified by situations that are ‘outside the box’ that we want to fix it – and we cannot.
I was also ‘living in sin’ when I came to the Lord, and on drugs. On looking back, I am glad I was isolated in the mountains so I could just read my Bible and consider for a few months the new life that lay ahead. Then in the Spring, I went to a meeting and they were baptizing new believers. When they were all through, they looked around and said, “anyone else?” I stepped into the water. I knew that my living situation had to conform to Biblical standards and in time, it all worked out.
We have a son who was legally married to a woman who hated him and lived with another man when he came to the Lord and met a Christian woman who seemed made for him. We had to sit back and watch it untangle itself. His pastor fostered relationship with him and finally His divorce came through after years of battle. Now he and the Christian woman are married and have a child. It has forced us to consider what the Lord considers marriage to be. Before we come to live in Him, it is at times not much more than legalized fornication, or a security blanket for people who are not committed to relationship and ready to die for one another. Some would say I am liberal, but I think not. I want to be biblical.
Best regards, Jepne
Last edited by
Guest on Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm, edited 0 times in total.
Reason:
How should we approach this situation? Where do we start untangling things? Do we need to have more information? What should we counsel her to do?